Years ago, I suffered one of the most painful losses of motherhood...a miscarriage. This loss — so quick, so unexpected — is known to many women and sadly, we’re not encouraged to make the time or space to process the grief.
"My grief was boundless. I wondered if it would ever end. To mark the passage of time, I decided to teach myself to knit. It was a meditation, a dedication to the child I would never hold. Each stitch an embrace, until finally I made a tiny, blue baby blanket to hold my broken heart.
My family wanted to help me but didn't know how. I struggled with closure, trying to end something that had barely begun. My grief felt private and personal. How could anyone understand? I could feel her all around me, knowing her passing and her presence were part of my own evolution as a mother. Knowing somehow that this initiation into the darkness was actually for me, I finally understood that "Mother" is not only she who holds, but She Who Is Held.
The grief finally became too much for me to bear alone. Broken, I asked for what my soul needed to move from grief to acceptance. I needed the short life and endless gift of sweet Emmanuelle to be witnessed. I needed for those who loved me to hold me so I could finally say goodbye.”
My baby’s gift of wisdom inspired my own feminine evolution by teaching me that I must become "She Who Is Held". Planted the day we said goodbye, this wisdom has taken years to finally ripen. Last fall, however, feeling lost and ungrounded, I remembered this gift and made the decision to be HELD and SUPPORTED.
It started after I created a vision board, and dared to dream of a bigger life. I didn’t know “how” I would ever achieve the vision, but I did know that I couldn’t do it alone and without support.
So I began by saying "yes" to opportunities of support.
- I stepped into my mentor's highest level program to be HELD by her and in a community of women devoted to seeing me and loving me exactly where I was.
- I stopped saying “yes” to everything and created strong boundaries around my time.
- I glued the words, "You don't have to do it all by yourself" on my vision board.
- I had a heart to heart talk with my husband and asked him and our children for more help around the house.
- I spent time daily in prayer and meditation asking for divine support and an embodied connection to being held by Source.
It wasn’t easy.
I had to learn to trust in Spirit that somehow, all would be well.
On this Full Harvest Moon,
I'm celebrating that despite all of these fears,
I KNOW I am HELD.
That one decision had the tremendous impact I had hoped for...it led to being a co-author of The New Feminine Evolutionary and fulfilling my dream of becoming a published writer.
It also led me to stepping out and showing up more fully than ever before as I identified my true sacred work and purpose and put that all together in a new logo, website and brand. Celebrate with me by visiting www.aurorafarber.com.
But even more than these tangible rewards,
I'm celebrating the HUGE impact this ONE decision
had on my life and those I love...
...Because I chose to be HELD and SUPPORTED, our children are becoming more responsible and independent as they help more around the house.
...My husband and I have rewritten our old, unconscious scripts of defined roles and responsibilities and our marriage is thriving.
...And I have more time, freedom and spaciousness to enjoy life and dedicate time to my sacred purpose...to help women ignite own their feminine fire, their innate power, love and wisdom, that will heal and save our world.
Being HELD is essential if we want to live fully and make an impact.
I named my chapter "She Who Holds" because I know that as women, we hold the fabric of our families, marriages and society together. We have been doing this for eons.
But in our feminine evolution we must become "She Who Is Held"...otherwise, we stay stuck in taking on more and embracing the shadow side of Great Mother energy…over-giving and nourishing everything and everyone, but ourselves.
When we are only “She Who Holds” we have no energy to pursue our dreams and impact the world with our creative gifts, our deep wisdom and compassionate love.
Now more than ever, the world needs the feminine fire of women to light the world on fire with love.
In the past few days, my heart has been breaking for all those who have suffered from the Las Vegas massacre. In times like this, I wonder, what's happening in our world?
Then I can turn toward the suffering and allow my heart to break even more.
Because I know I am HELD, I go from feeling powerless, to feeling inspired to show up more, despite my fear and limiting beliefs, so I can help more women claim their power so that tragedies like this will no longer occur.
When we feel HELD we are no longer powerless
because we feel the energy of the divine moving through us
and inspiring us to serve.
On this Full Harvest Moon, I invite you to look at all the ways you HOLD and are HELD...
- If you've been feeling unsupported and alone... know that you are HELD.
- If you’ve been feeling the pain of the loss from the turbulent times we live in...know that you are HELD.
- If you’ve been feeling out of sorts and confused by too much change and lack of clear direction...know that you are HELD.
- If you've recently suffered a loss or hold the pain of a loss from long ago...know that you are HELD.
Your presence is a gift and you are HELD in such love, devotion and delight. Being connected to you is an honor and would love to support your embodied knowing of being HELD.
If you'd like a deeper connection with me and the experience of being supported and held, I would be delighted to sit in sacred space with you. Just contact me by clicking here and let me know how I can be of service.
Sending you so much love...
May the light of the full moon illuminate all the ways that you are HELD.