Have you ever felt the call to howl at the moon? To let loose and just BE?
Or do you hide behind masks of who you "should" be?
There's an untamed, instinctual side of me that longs to howl at the full moon when I see it's brightness light up the sky.
The fiery Wild Woman inside of me that longs for freedom, expression and connection.
The "She" in me who feels no shame at being completely and fully who she is…raw…imperfect…soulful…real.
I've lived a lot of my life influenced by wanting to belong, be accepted and loved…my behavior carefully constructed, ordered and limited by my own perfectionism.
I tell myself, “this gives me peace” and “this makes me happy” and often it does.
However the archetypal energy of the Wild Woman in me still claws to get out.
Sometimes she escapes the well-constructed cage I've put her in. She comes out in dance and with music. She bursts through pages of journal writing and haunts me in my dreams. She roars inside me when I've had to advocate for my health or for my children.
She is powerful...
I recently found a photograph taken when I was about 23 and a model in Italy. In those days my Wild Woman was fearless and willing to go to a foreign land because I yearned to live my dream of travel and adventure. Fresh out of college, I remember being scared and feeling alone at times. I also remember feeling curious, alive and free.
This was one of those moments that Clarissa Pinkola Estés describes as “a door to the wild Self” in her potent book, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype
"The doors to the world of the wild Self are few but precious. If you have a deep scar, that is a door, if you have an old, old story, that is a door. If you love the sky and the water so much you almost cannot bear it, that is a door. If you yearn for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life, that is a door."
Deep in my belly, I feel that a “door to the wild Self” is opening…and not just for me, but for women around the world. For too long, women have been told to tame down the raw, fiery power inside. To stay silent, to not rock the boat.
For centuries, women’s power was feared and misunderstood. Feminine power it is not logical, linear and hierarchical but heartful, rhythmic and collaborative. When we align with our true essence, we know that power aligned with love and wisdom is the greatest force for change in the world. Each of us holds that triple flame of power, love and wisdom in our heart…that’s our feminine fire.
Can you feel the fire within? Do you hear the squeak of a door opening to your “wild Self”?
I admit...sometimes I am afraid of my own wildness. I like to be in control, have everything in order, know where I am going and why. I like being liked, accepted and in control.
Even as I write this blog, I feel vulnerable and exposed. Part of me wants you to think I have it all together, that somehow I have the answers for you...or at the very least, as a coach, I have the questions.
I feel the old, old story creep up and say, “hold it together, be without flaw so you will be accepted”.
But I’m sick of that story because it is not true. I'm not perfect...no one is.
I’m sick of the story that says, “I’m not enough if I’m not perfect”.
We are perfectly imperfect, especially when we allow our truth to shine through our vulnerability.
When I see the girl in the photograph who navigated the streets of Milan to an unknown photographer’s studio and jumped for hours to capture this black and white shot of my wild self, I know she is still in me.
She's been within me all along...
She is part of my essence and I feel her toss her wild hair back and roar,...
“Is your life serving your Essence, who you really are OR are you serving those old stories that were never true anyway?
I am SHE who is here to free you of all of this so that you can be of service to the world.”
So today, I choose to honor that voice and those words...and I invite you to work with the phases of the moon and illuminate the thoughts, actions or beliefs no longer serve you.
What same old boring and exhausting stories keep you playing small and hiding your unique gifts and power?
Here's a list of common false stories we tell ourselves...see if any resonate:
I’m not good enough.
I’m not ready.
I’m not loveable.
I’m too afraid.
My ideas don’t matter.
I’m too fat, too thin.
I’m too big, too small.
I’m too stupid.
Noone understands me.
I’m too weird.
I’m all alone.
I don’t belong.
The magic of following the sacred feminine rhythm of the moon is that each month we have the chance to consciously clear so we can consciously create.
This moon cycle I celebrate the many faces of the feminine, especially the Wild Woman.
I invite you to both “illuminate” the celebrations of your life and “eliminate” whatever stories hold you back from creating the life you desire and deserve.
And while you are at it, howl at the moon too!